Against her will
by gospelmiracle
Summary: Kagome was no longer miss sunshine, she had to be dark and cruel because she wanted to live. A new life, but a life was still one. [KK most probably]


_"If there's a will, there's a way"_

Kagome almost laughed out. She was an optimistic and care free girl, who believed that good existed in everyone. She was in her own little fantasy where miracles happened, that she could reach out to anyone and help them. That jealousy, betrayal, backstabbing and silly arguments would never get in her way.

Please take a note to self that I said "Kagome was" an optimistic and carefree girl, because now, clearly, she is not. The phrase "if there's a will, there's a way" in most definite, had upset Kagome beyond reach. Because Kagome did have will, she had to be the most stongwill person around, and one to have such high potential was given extra credit.

But because of a certain male inferior, it had made all her dreams shatter. She had come to the last moment of her problem-free life, that will didn't mean anything if you had a dangerous youkai that was out of his mind on top of you.

And you could do nothing but shut your eyes and weep during this situation. Because it is useless, he is your friend and you are merely a toy to play with.

X.X.X

The sky was pretty dark for the day's morning. Sango had gotten out of bed, her head full of worry for her friend, that she had stopped to cry in a mid trail.

She was so sad for Kagome.

And she felt so much hatred for the one who had caused her so much pain, it was unbearable, she would hunt him down herself and kill him, thank you very much. Whether it was for lust, love or a mere coincidence that Kagome was there, she swore to the deep cores of hell, that she would never forgive a man who would disrespect and taint Kagome. Kagome.. the pure, sweet, adorable and loving friend from the future. Kagome was her best friend, almost like a sister, a family member reminder and was part of what her happiness had remained.

Now, Kagome was afflicted.

She growled, her eyes dark and heavy. She was spending too much time with Inuyasha.

A friend..

Had to die.

A wrath. The air was thick of it. It was filthy and it made people churn. A young woman had walked right out of the hut that she was sleeping so tireless the night before. She was not distracted by the cause of the filth. She was the filth.

But she was going to hide it.

X.X.X.X

Sango was polishing up her hiraikotsu, her giant boomerang, while thinking of the misfortunate thing that happened. But at it too, she heard a familiar voice that made her want to cry.

"Sango-chan!"

She recognized the sweet voice. Could it be Kagome? She had awaken? Sango automatically glanced right towards the direction of it, and for the first time in a long time, found herself smiling genuinely.

"You're all right after all" , she said in relief.

The girl smiled back. "Yes. " she paused. "I'm all right after all. Where is Inuyasha and the others?"

Sango took a good look at Kagome. She had been asking out of curiosity, and if it weren't because of yesterday, she would have never thought of resisting right now. The brave taijiya bit her lower lip, and found herself shaking. "They're up back. They're all worried sick about you but I didn't think—" She appeared to be thinking hard.

"What is it?" Kagome asked in a demanding manner, but softening when she realized it.

"I didn't think you'd want to have much contact with the opposite sex after the little.. miss happening." Sango had said all these hurriedly, she was afraid that she might have upset Kagome, since she was certainly sensitive about almost everything right then.

But Kagome smiled brightly. She squatted beside Sango and started twisting her hair around her fingers, gently. "Mm… " she shut her beautiful blue eyes away, and gazed at the sky. "It's pretty don't you think?"

"Aah.." was Sango's reply.

Kagome sighed heavily, neglected by her response. "The sky is blue, it's pretty, it's unpolluted. I want to be like it."

Sango didn't know what to say. Kagome.. her dear friend was through such a phase and horrible situation. She glanced back at her, smiling confidently. "Of course.." she murmured. "The sky will always be blue even when it's polluted." Getting Kagome's questioning gaze, "When the sky is happy, it is blue. When it is angry, there will be a great storm that will cause it to be demanding, grey and persisting. The sky affects everyone, Kagome."

She looked thoughtful. "Maybe. But the sky can't run away. I feel sorry for it."

There was a silence. Kagome tilted her head slightly and started to undress a few of the buttons on her blouse. She was not wearing her school uniform, but a dress that Kaeda-ba-chan had borrowed. She poked her finger onto somewhere near her breast line. "Look." She said quietly. "A mark."

Sango didn't appear to look surprised, but she was breathing rapidly. "I see."

Kagome looked dull. "Oh come on, lets go meet them."

Sango nodded but she was still worried, how could she not be? Just some hours ago, her friend had gotten raped and mistreated. But there are times where you can't do anything about something you really want to do something about , because you have no clue what to do. Sango was feeling helpless and confused at the moment, because she had thought Kagome would have been in a terrible breakdown. Of course, she also did not have any clue what to do right then, and not long, she had found herself and Kagome confronting two, no three of the opposite sex, looking more afraid of her than she'd expect Kagome to be of them.

"Kagome.." she had tried to say gently, but the girl had been grabbing onto Inuyasha and burying her face into his chest.

Inuyasha was red in the face, but he did not make any hesitation to push her away even though he was astounded by her suddenness. He patted her on the head awkwardly, evidently uncomfortable but trying his best to comfort her.

Sango, Miroku and Shippou were told to back off.

"Inuyasha.." she drawled. Her eyes were dark. They looked poisoned. At that moment, Inuyasha for once in a lifetime wished that he was human, so he couldn't sense the abouts of Kagome. She was salty, she was sour, she was bitter, she was anger, pain, she was sorrow, so heavy that it broke his heart watching her.

To his surprise, she giggled. "I'm dirty.." she said softly, but there was a hint of sadness in her voice. "I want to wash myself.. to scrub away the filth."

There was a long pause..

"I feel so dirty" , she repeated sadly. "I'm so dirty, I want to wash myself"

She continued muttering the same verses over and over, till Inuyasha pleaded with Sango and Miroku to help.

"Well then.. we'll take you to the river, won't we?" Sango said, trying to sound cheerful.

Kagome grimaced. "Maybe." She said quietly. She stared at the sky. "After I scrub the filth away.."

Her eyes only turned darker. "Can I go see him?"

* * *

Author's note: I don't know how this story will end. But Kouga is still important to the story, and it'll remain that way. I certainly cant guarantee you that this will turn Inu/Kag because it most probably wouldn't. I have a lot of mistakes here I think, so please correct me if you would.

Much thanks.


End file.
